The moment I purchased my ticket, I felt calm and knew it was the right thing to do. And then after I purchased the ticket, I freaked. I was going to be traveling alone overseas. I will admit that I was a tad nervous because this whole experience is still new to me. And still very raw and emotional. Being back in my native country is an experience that brings back some memories I probably haven’t thought about since I left so long ago. I was worried about traveling alone without my constant companion because I rely on his strength more than he knows. Just his presence calms me.
In the week following, I was emotional. Most of my days were fine, until I started thinking about traveling alone and then I would cry. I didn’t want to travel alone and was worried I would panic mid-flight over the ocean. I actually have a paranoia of enclosed spaces that have no escape as well as deep waters, so flying over the ocean is a bad thing for me. So here I am a girl who gets claustrophobic and is afraid of dark waters, flying over the Atlantic Ocean to get to Europe.
As the day approached, I started to feel calm and have a general feeling of peace surround me. Of course I cried when I thought about being alone without my babies and my husband.
But I had a feeling that this experience was something that I needed. I didn’t know all the reasons, but I knew that I needed it. I need my mother. And somehow in Albina’s home, I feel her there. I just felt like this was the right thing to do. Although it wasn't our original plan, it was the right plan. And I was so excited to be returning home again. Nothing is as comforting as returning to my home country - well, with the exception of returning home to my husband and babies.






