Tuesday, October 20th Update

Ionica woke us up at 3am to say goodbye to us. He was so sweet and in his broken English he told us to came back to his home again soon. I love him and will miss him.

In the morning we woke up at 6am to finish getting our stuff together. Marius wanted to leave early so that he and Larisa could get back home early because they had to work at 7am the next morning. Albina fixed us breakfast. Neither Kalan or I could eat very much. I felt like I had a pit in my stomach. I did not want to face up to the fact that we had to leave. Kalan, Albina and I sat together on the couch and waited for them to arrive. I felt so tired and emotionally drained. I didn’t want to face this moment. The time came when they arrived. Everyone helped us carry our stuff down stairs. We packed our luggage into the car and had to say goodbye. Vica had stayed late from work so she could say goodbye to us. It was so difficult to say bye to her. I started crying as we hugged and I didn’t want to let go. She has been so kind and sweet to us and I truly love her. Her personality is so loving and kind. We were all crying. I hugged Albina and at that moment I truly felt heartbroken that I had to leave. We cried and I felt like I was holding on with all of my might. Albina told me that she is my mother there and that I can call her anytime I ever need a kind word. I feel that is so true. She is my mother there. She replaced the role my own mother once had and she has never given up on that. I always felt loved and cared for around her. How I will miss her presence on a daily basis. It was so difficult to say goodbye. I wanted to stay with them forever. I cried and cried as we got into the car and drove away. I already felt like a part of the me was instantly missing.

We made the 6+ hour drive all the way to Bucharest. We stopped to eat at a restaurant with Marius and Larisa. It is nice to be with them. They’re so kind and it was great that we could all speak English to each other. I felt so exhausted that I slept most of the drive. We stopped at a military monument. It was actually quite beautiful on the inside. There was so many tributes to all of the generals and soldiers who have fought for Romania. It was nice to get out and sight see a little bit. We finally arrived in Bucharest after 3pm. We found a hotel that was across from the airport. It was hard to say goodbye to Larisa and Marius. They have been so kind and generous and I will truly miss them. I felt like it was taking all the strength I had to not fall on the ground and cry. As we made our way to our hotel room, the floodgates opened and I couldn’t stop crying. I got into the room and just crawled into bed and cried. It was so hard leaving. I can’t even begin to describe how hard it was to be alone in the hotel room. The contrast between the dark cold hotel room and the warmth and love at Albina’s house was so apparent that I could no longer hold it together. I cried until I thought my tears were gone. Then I cried some more.

Finally Kalan and I got a taxi and went to the nearest mall which is actually the largest mall in Bucharest. I found out the Ikea was right there. We got some dinner and I cried the whole time. I must have looked so strange crying over my food and crying everywhere we walked. After awhile, we got a taxi and returned to our hotel room. I think I fell asleep crying. I was so exhausted and really emotionally drained. I couldn’t even think straight. We woke up at 3am to get our things together because we had to be at the airport by 3:30 am to make our 6am flight. I must have looked like a zombie walking through the airport crying all the time. The farther away we got from Romania the faster and harder my tears came. I felt like my heart had stopped beating. Although I was so happy to return home to my kids who I had missed terribly, I felt so heartbroken to be once again leaving the family I left so long ago. It truly felt like I had left part of myself there. I felt alone and naked without my family. I was missing them terribly. I felt like I had a broken heart and like the tears were never going to stop.

What an amazing journey this has been for me. There are not enough words that fully express all of the emotions that I have felt. I feel like my soul has been forever changed, touched by the love of so many family members.